I know what you’re thinking: Where has Riz been lately? The pictures below will honestly attempt to answer that question.

My ears were desecrated last Friday. My colleagues at ENVY Magazine were celebrating the big 2 year anniversary/issue release party for ENVY issue #23 (which your boy heartily contributed to). I’m more of a once-in-a-green-moon partier than a club addict because i don’t like the idea of being shot at. Besides, I never really understand what everybody seems to be celebrating at parties.

Anyway, some of you know that there’s this one song that I’ve heard so many evil things about that I swore to never put myself in a position where I’d have to listen to it. While listening to urban radio, I often pray for God to replace the said song with some horrendous snap music instead of subjecting me to the evil-ness of that one song. Well, you can plan a pretty picnic, as they say, but you can’t predict the weather.

At first, it sounded like something from the 80’s before it finally struck me that the DJ had just started spinning the tabboolicious waste of studio time that is My Humps! I came close to dying.

Real partiers

D & D

That’s C.C. and um, Tipsy, yes?

Metal Finger Riz (honestly i don’t even remember striking that pose)

the booty-checker