An Old White Lady Attacked Me at Starbucks Today
Racism is nothing new to me. I always joke that my life is full of full-time jobs and being black is one of them. Essentially, racist people don’t bother me as long as they don’t decide to go on a killing spree. It’s mostly a defense mechanism, if you ask me. This woman was either racist or crazy. Or both.
So, I was sitting at Starbucks today working on a college paper in between blog posts. I looked up briefly and caught an old white lady directing some laser stares at me. She muttered something with a frown on her face, but I couldn’t make out the words.
After ordering coffee, the lady who looked like she might be in her 60s or 70s, headed straight to my table and sat opposite me. At this point I was still playing it cool, because I thought she just needed a place to sit.
“You’re in my space now,” she exclaimed. “This is my territory. You don’t like it, get an office space. Fuck you!”
All this while, I’m struggling to make sense of it all. Nothing made sense to me. There were probably 4 or 5 empty seats within eyeshot. Then it dawned on me that she just might be the owner of the store. I was wrong.
She continued, “You’re a piece of shit! Fuck you!!”
I replied, “Look, this isn’t necessary. There’s plenty of space here for everyone.”
She lost it. “You’re a hacker! Fuck you! Tomorrow the stock market opens. $700 billion takeover. I’m in, you’re out. Fuck you, you piece of shit. You think you’re safe because you’re at Starbucks. The FBI has all your information now, John Worthington.”
I ignored the cranky old bitch for the remainder of her disjointed rant. Anyway, she went on for another 2 or 3 minutes before she finally got up and walked away, but not without knocking my empty cup of coffee to the floor. I thought to myself, “May God help the next victim of this lout’s preconceived notions and overall douchebaggery.”
What’s the moral of this story, people? If you’ve been entrusted with the sorry task of babysitting a mentally derailed septuagenarian, never ever ever let them loose on the streets without equipping them with the proper medication.
So, here’s my question to you: What would you do if an old white lady walked up to you and called you “a piece of shit” for no apparent reason?
