10 Reasons Why Soulja Boy Needs to Go Platinum in a Week
It’s tough selling a million records these days, especially if you’re one of the most hated hip-hop artists on the planet. So, Soulja Boy launched a “Platinum in a Week” campaign in a bid to spur his fans into action come December 16th when his sophomore album, iSouljaBoyTellem, is scheduled for release. Soulja Boy highlighted some obvious reasons why he’d like to sell a million CDs in a video blog (see below), but we all know the devil is in the details. See the real reason why Soulja Boy needs to go platinum after the cut.
10. Jimmy Iovine gave him an ultimatum and he ain’t trying to go back to Jack in the Box
9. He needs the money to continue his fight against obesity via calorie-burning dance moves
8. His Gucci-branded trash can needs a new girlfriend and those things don’t come cheap
7. He’s all about “ice and tattoos”
6. He needs a consolation prize for all the time spent thinking up words that rhyme with “oh”
5. He needs the plaque to remind his grand-kids of a time when rap was still legal
4. He wants to stimulate the U.S. economy. Just do the math: $12.99 x 1,000,000
3. He needs it for books and tuition, in case rap doesn’t work out
2. He needs it for an emergency savings account, in case rap doesn’t work out
1. He needs the money for a bulletproof vest because Ice T don’t play that shit
