It’s official. Ron Ron has signed a 5-year deal worth $33 million with the current NBA champions Los Angeles Lakers. Ron Ron says he’s made enough money in the NBA and is only playing for a ring. Trevor Ariza, on the other the hand, took a paycut to go to the depleted Houston Rockets.

Even while playing for Houston, Ron secretly wanted to be Kobe’s bodyguard:

“This was a long time coming,” Artest said. “As I started to compete against the Lakers and against Kobe [Bryant], I had respect for him and I always wanted to be a teammate of his.”

As long as he doesn’t decide to suddenly drop an album mid-season, things shouldn’t be too weird in L.A. Pop the hood for more pics of Ron Ron in purple & gold.

I was going to say something snappy about Artest, but this Houston Rockets fan has unintentionally emptied the vault on my sentiment.