Disclaimer: Yo Shawn, we heard you dissed Cristal, so we ordered 2 bottles.

People do the craziest things when they drink and jump behind the wheel. A 49-year old woman named Mary Strey called 911 as she was driving along a road in central Wisconsin to report a drunk driver.

The operator asks her if she is behind the drunk driver. She replies, “I am them,” to which he asks, “You am them?” I hope someone checked that dispatcher to make sure he didn’t injest a little sippy-sippy himself.

Anyway, the lady said she was drunk and didn’t want to hurt anybody. She was charged with misdemeanor drunken driving.

Remember that sensational video of the drunkest guy ever? Well, Mustache and Monocle has somehow managed to improve on perfection. M&M’s silent film rendition of the video is incredimazing. They added some new elements (music, captions), but without compromising the plot. Essentially, Larry still gets to hump the floor with his tailbone.

[Mustache and Monocle by way of Film Drunk]

It’s hard out here for animated characters. Marge Simpson has been busy whoring herself out for Playboy, but Beavis and Butt-head chose the modest route and kept their clothes on. After spending a few hours getting pimped in Xzibit’s garage, however, they no longer look like the socially inept nerds we used to know. The only chink in their armor is that fugly couch. That thing has to go.

[Galaxy Riders by way of Dropular]

Well, it was only a matter of time before Balloon Boy-inspired musicals started flooding the web. This one is courtesy of the Parody Rapper.

This blows my mind. Even if you’ve never seen Pulp Fiction, it will blow your mind too. Oh, and if anyone has a Google Wave invite, you know where to send it. Preemptive thanks for the invite.

If this is what Diddy meant by “Auto-Tune is alive and well,” then I’m in complete agreement with him. This is one of their best installments yet.

More like blame it on lean. Dude looks like he’s being pulled apart by invisible magnets. I just hope he didn’t drive himself home after that.