Dear hip-hop fans, your prayers have been answered. Eminem’s Relapse leaks, it is generally regarded as a great reason to reitre, then he gets a new reason to care. Enter Nick Cannon.

People probably don’t realize what it’s like to be a tortured genius like Marshall Mathers. Most people probably didn’t notice the trend that exists in his music or the correlation between his personal life and the frequency and quality of his music. But think back to how mommy issues, budding relationship with Dre, personal financial trouble, marital instability, raising a daughter, losing a friend, dealing with drug addiction, and taking on Benzino/The Source acted as catalysts for some of the greatest music of our time. Now think about what is happening in his life now: 50 showcased his beautiful studio in Detroit last week, he has solidified his position in the game and on his label, he kicked his drug habit (kinda), mom is not really an issue, and he has enough money to deal with whatever else might occur. What better time to release a really terrible album?

So he returns to his tactics from Infinite and the Slim Shady LP which include name-calling and fire-starting. Well, whoever said opportunity seldom knocks twice, is not familiar with the Shadiest One. He thrives on beasting lesser MC”s; he really just eats this stuff up, and Nick Cannon is starting to look like dinner. What Mr. Mariah Carey does not understand is that any response that he comes up with is only going to flip the switch and activate the brain of the most talented battle rapper to not hail from New York. Nick’s blog featured a few shots, but it looks like he still needs a little encouragement:

I analyzed the situation from a logical perspective. Am I going to battle Eminem and try to out rap him? No, that would be stupid. The dude is nice on the mic. Even though nowadays he lacks substance, rapping about when he used to be hot. Like when Al Bundy gloats about his High school football prime.

Dear Nick, Please listen to the little man on your left shoulder! I miss Eminem.

So, I gather that Relapse has leaked onto the Interwebs. Early verdict is that it belongs in the shack next to critters and “Stanky Leg.” What sayeth ye?

While we’re at it, peep the 2-part “Crack A Bottle” music video below. Read the rest of this entry »

Eminem (Featuring Dr. Dre) – Old Time Sake

Whoa hey! Some more generic Eminem music here for you stans. This one spots so many Mary Jane references, I think caught a contact buzz just listening to it.

So, who’s the melodic ghostwriter behind Dre’s rhymes?

Behold the music video for Eminem’s weird new single, “3 AM,” off Relapse. In true Eminem fashion, it’s dark and cinematic. Did the video enhance or diminish your appreciation for the song?

[Raise one to SmashTube]

No, that’s not Sinead O’Connor. That’s Eminem doing his best angry lesbian impression on the cover of VIBE’s June issue — the second installment of their Real Rap series. Yet another evidence that Relapse truly exists. Phew! [VIBE]

Slim Shady – 3.A.M.
This here “3. A.M.” is rumored to be the second single from Relapse. A 6-minute single? Really? Apparently, Em hasn’t updated his calendar for 30 years. On another note, the intro sounds familiar.

What sayeth ye, TRUbians? Yea or Nay?

[H/T: Legend]

I see what you did there, Marshall. Oh, and judging by the success stories on the Pompsomp Hills website, Em is in good hands.

For instance, check out this one from a patient named Ryan Stoner:

“When I stole a pair of size elevens I knew it was bad, but when I stole a pair of size thirteens and then realized I was actually a size 9, I knew I wasn’t mentally there and the substances had gotten the best of me. I needed help and Balzac was there”

[Pompsomp Hills]

If you had any remaining doubts that Officer Rawse is the biggest fraud we’ve seen thus far, put that silliness away right now. Rawse claims that after driving the final nail in the coffin of 50 Cent’s career, the logical next step is to pick a fight with Eminem.

Peep the f_ckery:

“I mean, I’m a fan of Eminem,” he said. “I’m a fan first and foremost. But after defeating Curly, my confidence is at an all-time high. Maybe before I wouldn’t have challenged him, but I’m contemplating it now. The game is commending me for my victory. That’s all I wanted to do was … punish the opposition. I think I’ve done a great job and I’m gonna continue to do that.”

Oh, and this clown is also hoping Em will give him a spot on Relapse?

“I’m trying to be a part of that [Relapse],” Ross said. “It’s either way. We gonna see each other one way or another.”

I can see it now: “Rick Ross Kills Eminem in One Verse” [MTV]