Will.i.am created a Twitter account for the first time just to address his altercation with you-know-who, because “it isn’t cool for someone to blame you and blast you with lies.” Wait, what?
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You may have heard that the U.S. economy is currently doing its best MC Hammer impression, but what you may not know is how the economic downturn is affecting the world of hip-hop. According to The State, rappers have had to make some significant cutbacks and alterations to their lifestyles in order to account for the effects of dwindling album sales and empty seats at concerts. The article indicates that the Slick-Rick style jewelry and ostentatious showboating are the first things to go, when rappers need to save cash:
Before, a new artist might spend $25,000 of a $30,000 advance on a chain, according to[Ben] Baller, who counts Fat Joe as a client. “Now they would rather try to spend $5,000 and $6,000,” he says, adding, “they’re willing to talk about options by using sapphires, using very, very low quality gold. Some people (are) even wanting to mix diamonds with cubics (cubic zirconia) so it would not be completely ungenuine.”
Who knew that times were so tough for rappers? Well, hip-hop heads need not worry. Your uncle Nahshon has been through these tough times before and I’ve got some tips that will keep your pockets fatter than Joe. Here are the top 5 ways that hip-hoppers can avoid bankruptcy.
Well, well, well, we’ve been long overdue for another “How to Rob” remix, amiright? So here’s Big City Phil to the rescue with “How to Rob an Industry Hipster,” since there aren’t just enough gimmicky rap songs out there. This song, which has been circulating for a while, finds Big City Phil lyrically sticking up “hipsters” such as Talib Kweli and Lupe Fiasco. (We’ll save the discussion on his warped definition of “hipster” for another post)
And BAM, just like that, Big City Phil is a superstar. His YouTube video has amassed an astoundingly groundbreaking 30,000 views! Hey look, he’s even featured in the Phildelphia Weekly for “namedropping a gaggle of established artists and taking them down a peg to create buzz for himself.”
You hear that, younguns? This is EXACTLY what hip-hop is about — recycling gimmicks for the sole purpose of creating a buzz. Talent be damned.
While listening to a rap song on the radio recently, I heard some words that no one should ever utter to a woman. The song portrayed females in a very positive light. Clearly, this song violated the Unified Bitch Theory. The rapper even went as far describing his love interest as “a queen” instead of a “female dog,” which is what Dr. Dre or Dr. Snoop would’ve prescribed. I was in utter shock and dismay because of the unseemly words that oozed from my speakers.
As I squirmed in my seat, I asked myself, “Does music dictate culture or is it the other way around? Does rap music encourage misogyny or does it simply mirror a culture of misogyny?”
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Apparently, people are walking around with “I’ll Chris Brown A Bitch” t-shirts because it makes them wise guys or something. This is almost as mind-boggling as that time I overheard a douche bag at Taco Cabana telling his girl, “I will Chris Brown your ass.” Instead of this shirt, he should be wearing one with the picture of a brain detached from its socket.
“I’ll Chris Brown any dude I catch wearing that I’ll Chris Brown A Bitch t-shirt.” (c) Toure
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the ‘09 Ike & Tina.
“They’re together again. They care for each other,” says the source. The on-again couple are currently spending time together at one of Sean “Diddy” Combs’s homes, on Miami Beach’s Star Island.
Adds the source: “While Chris is reflective and saddened about what happened, he is really happy to be with the woman he loves.”
The Chris Brown/Rihanna saga is a gift that just keeps giving. In case you’ve been living in a cave for the past 48 hours, the couple got into a heated altercation after leaving a Clive Davis pre-Grammy party Saturday night. No one knows exactly what instigated the fight. Some say Rihanna gave Chris Brown herpes. Allegedly. Others say Brown was screwing around, so Rihanna went ballistic on him. Only one thing is certain at this point: the fight left Rih Rih with two huge contusions, several bite marks, a bloodied lip, a busted nose, and a massive beatdown. MMA style. When police arrived at the scene, Chris Brown was gone. He later turned himself in to LAPD, and then posted a $50,000 bail. For more on the boring details, here’s the police report [pdf].
Poor Chris. He’s no longer the squeaky clean 19-year old America thought he was. Wrigley has already dropped his ass from their ad campaign, not necessarily because they care about Rihanna but because women are not likely to buy bubblegum from a woman beater. Expect other companies to follow suit. C.B. is america’s sweety pie no more. The big questions is: who are all those pre-pubescent high school girls going to turn to for romantic ballads now? I guess that just leaves R.Kelly to tickle their fancy?
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Well, guess who won’t be bumping “My President (DC MIX)” in his SUV anytime soon? If you guessed Bill O, you’ve just won yourself an autographed copy of the Internet.
